Pesky Pets
by Nekobaghira
Summary: Kittens, Bampfs and Harry Potter? Curiosity killed the cat or in this case the bampf.


Wolverine believed in his cause and thought he was doing what was best for young mutants by teaching them at the Jean Grey School. Nothing was ever easy, no matter if you were an Avenger, X-Man, or headmaster at the school. Wolverine was feeling like he wasn't making a difference. Perhaps it was time to either close the school or have someone else be the headmaster. He went to the liquor cabinet to open a bottle of whiskey only to discover the bampfs had taken it all.

A couple of days prior to the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning opening, Beast accidentally left a gateway open allowing inter-dimensional gremlins into one the buildings for the new school. These little beings had the look of Nightcrawler. While their height varied, most of them were two feet in height or slightly smaller in stature. They had blue skin with tattooed markings on their bodies, blue hair, and three digits on their hands and feet. On their feet, two digits made a vee facing forward while the third digit pointed toward the back giving them balance. They also had a tail with a pointy end. Their other unusual trait similar to Nightcrawler was they were able to teleport in the same manner.

While the staff had taken to calling them bampfs, an alien zoologist claimed they were not, however what they were was still unknown. The staff at the Jean Grey School thought it was easier to call them bampfs and left it at that. They were trouble makers with a penchant for destroying property, spraying graffiti and stealing anything not nailed down. They also liked whiskey and they were fond of taking anything that belonged to Wolverine. The bampfs displayed some intelligence. While Beast and other scientists would continue to figure out what they were, losing labs due to their playful destructive nature took a backseat to all the other issues facing the school. Wolverine believed they were smarter and had more intelligence than they were given credit for. He just knew there was more to them.

He had trained the bampfs to teleport him where he wanted to go. It was easy to train them, they wanted whiskey, all they had to do was wear a leash with a collar so he could keep them together. They didn't mind. The were fond of Wolverine, which is why they were always taking his things or stealing his whiskey.

Logan needed a break, just some downtime and hang out with someone who would understand and not even worry about having a conversation. Gambit was always good at just being there. He never pried and knew when to say something and when not too. And he always had whiskey too. Mind made up, he was gonna visit Gambit. He worried for a second that he might be interrupting a date or something but decided it didn't matter to him. Gambit would get over it.

He rounded up some bampfs, put them on their leashes and told them where to 'port him. He arrived just outside of Gambit's apartment building. He strolled through the building and up to Gambit's door. While Logan got a few funny looks most of the other residents didn't notice or seem to care. Afterall its New York City, lots of weird things happen everyday.

It was Saturday night and Remy decided to stay in, relax, and maybe catch up on lost sleep. He had been burning the midnight oil a bit too much between working out the kinks with thieving and the X-Men demands on his time. TNT was running a Harry Potter Marathon. He made some popcorn, grabbed a beer, and plopped down on his couch.

His kittens hopped up to be with him and paw at his popcorn. He told them no but they weren't swayed by his words. They knew he'd cave eventually or they would just wait until he was asleep. He was almost asleep when he heard a knock at his door. He went to the door and found Logan standing there with a few of his bampfs.

"Logan."

"Cajun."

"Come in," Remy opened the door wider so that Logan and the bampfs could enter his apartment.

"Is there a problem or something you need stolen?" Remy smirked at him. The X-Men and Avengers discovered his extra curricular activities.

"Nah, just wanted to be somewhere else tonight and I knew you'd have whiskey," Logan looked around to make sure he wasn't interrupting anything. Since the night he showed up unannounced and ruined Remy's date, he tried to be a bit more considerate of Remy's activities.

Remy walked to his liquor cabinet; and brought out a bottle of his finest whiskey. He went to the kitchen to get glasses. When he came back to the living room, he put the glasses and whiskey on the coffee table. Logan poured them each a glass and the bampfs tugged on their leashes.

"Gonna let them off the leash for a bit, they won't be a problem," Logan laughed. The bampfs were always a problem but he thought now that Gambit had kittens, he could easily deal with pesky pets.

"As long as they behave themselves." Remy glared a warning to them but he knew they would do whatever they wanted.

Logan and Remy sat in comfortable silence for awhile. Neither were really engrossed in the Harry Potter film but neither wanted to do anything else at the moment. Remy didn't know what was bothering Wolverine. He was usually more social when they got together to party.

"What's goin' on at the school?"

"If you were there more, you would know." Logan smirked. He was being a jerk and knew it but he also knew the Cajun could handle the guff he could give him.

"Yeah, 'bout that. Not sure if teachin' is for me."

"You need to let me know, what you plan on doin'." Logan considered his next words, "I thought running a school would be easier than it is."

"At least you're trying."

"I suppose," Logan poured Remy and himself another glass of whiskey. "I'm thinkin' it's a mistake, that I'm hurting more than helpin'."

Remy wasn't sure what to tell Logan so he said nothing. They both fell back into silence watching Harry Potter.

There was a loud crash from the kitchen along with angry growls and hisses from one of the kittens.

Remy went to see what the commotion was about and found a kitten in attack mode, its hair was puffed up and body curled and was walking sideways toward an unknown threat. Remy walked in the direction the kitten was moving toward and noticed a bampf standing nearby taunting the kitten.

"Knock it off," he told the bampf. Remy picked up this kitten and calmed it down with pets and hugs. "Logan! Get in here!"**.** Remy knew the bampfs were little trouble makers but he didn't want them messing with his furkids. Remy called for Logan again.

"What! Can't ya handle your cats?" Logan walked into the kitchen and saw the bampf. He gave the bampf a stern look knowing it would do no good.

Remy searched for his other two kittens and so that he could put them in his room for the evening. He went into the living room to witness a mexican standoff between the remaining two kittens and the bampfs. While the bampfs were curious about the kittens, the kittens were not as curious about the bampfs. They hissed and growled at the bampfs. Remy quickly scooped the kittens up and went to his bedroom with the trio of furballs.

When he returned to the living room the bampfs were picking up whiskey glasses and the bottle. Remy was quick enough to get the whiskey from them before they could poof away with it.

"Not the good stuff boys." He then went to the liquor cabinet and handed them a less expensive bottle of whiskey for them to drink. While the bampfs were mollified for the time being with the whiskey, they kept staring at the door that Remy had come out of. They just wanted a closer look at the puffs of fur.

Sensing the bampfs were up to something Remy told them, "Leave 'em be, this is their home, you be nice to 'em in it."

"Bampf?"

"You heard me, leave 'em be." Remy gave them a serious look, he meant business.

Logan opened the whiskey bottle that Remy had given the bampfs and poured some in glasses for them. They took the glasses and the bottle but were not nearly as interested in it as they were in what was on the other side of the door Remy had come from.

"Look at that, they're more curious about your damn cats than the liquor you gave 'em**.**" Wolverine was surprised and he seldom was surprised by anything.

"Maybe you should go home," Remy was feeling inconvenienced by the entire situation. All he wanted to do was relax in front of the TV and now he had a guest and unwanted trouble makers in his place. This wasn't exactly the relaxing atmosphere he was hoping for.

Logan ignored Remy and handed him a glass full of whiskey. "Sit down, the next movie is about ta start."

"Logan, seriously, they gotta go."

"Relax," Logan was done with the conversation.

With a sigh Remy sat down to watch the next Potter film. "Didn't think you'd be interested in this."

"I'm not, but it's mindless and it keeps me from thinkin' 'bout other stuff," Logan stretched his legs out.

Remy thought about asking more about the other stuff but changed his mind. If Logan wanted to talk he would. He kept an eye on the bampfs for a few more minutes but eventually forgot about them once he got engrossed in the film.

The bampfs were drinking their whiskey but mostly kept an eye on the two guys on the couch, waiting for them to get wrapped up with the box that had moving pictures on it. Once they were certain they were no longer being watched, they put their plan into action.

One of the bampfs snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a bag that smelled similar to the food type stuff that was on the floor. Another one scouted around for the little things on the floor, a crinkly aluminum ball and the feather on a string. Once all the items were acquired, they snuck around the guys on the couch and headed for Remy's bedroom.

One final look back at Remy and Logan to make sure they were not being watched, then they quietly entered Remy's bedroom where the balls of fur were in hiding. They couldn't help themselves the kittens were interesting to them. They had to know more about them.

They quietly closed the bedroom door and found the kittens sleeping in a pile on the middle of the bed. The bampfs crept up onto the bed and stared at the little puffs of hair with fascination. They moved slowly to the sleeping beauties. One of the bampfs put his hand out to pet one and he was amazed at how soft the kitten was. He kept petting the kitten and it stretched and yawned awake. The bampf heard a small purr from the kitten he was petting. Apparently the kitten like the attention. The bampf loved the purring, it was a pleasant sound.

Fascinated by the development, another bampf took the feather and string toy and gently dragged it across another kitten, waking it up. It immediately chased after the feather. It was prey and the kitten was gonna get it. These activities woke up the remaining sleeping kitten and a bampf tossed the crinkly ball at it. The kitten batted ball around the bed. While the kittens were leery of the bampfs at first their desire for the toys won out. Not to mention the treats the bampfs kept placing around the bed for them.

The bampfs were loving this new game with the kittens and the kittens discovered the bampfs were not so bad as long as they had toys and treats for them. They were chasing the bampfs all over the room and were in full play mode, only stopping for a treat from a bampf then right back at the toys the other bampfs had. The kittens and bampfs really got into the play session. The bampfs made sure they didn't make too much noise, they didn't want their fun time ruined by Logan or Remy. After a while the kittens and bampfs were tired. They piled into the middle of the bed and fell asleep. Each bampf found a way to hold the kitten in sleep.

A few hours later, Logan tapped Remy on the shoulder to wake him up. "Movie's over, gonna go home now. Thanks for letting me hang out here."

"Mon Dieu, what time is it?" Remy couldn't believe he fell asleep watching TV.

"Midnight**.**" Logan just laughed at him. "Maybe you should stay home more often, instead of getting into trouble all night, robbin' people blind."

"Ya, I know, old habit, what can I say," Remy yawned and looked around his living room. "Hey, where's your blue devils?"

Logan took a quick look around the room, "I dunno."

Both men got up to look around for the bampfs, Remy headed to his bedroom to check on his kittens. When he opened the door to his room he was surprised to see bampfs and kittens all piled together on the bed in slumber. They were cute all cuddled together, he had to get a picture. He silently went to his desk and grabbed his camera phone. He motioned to Wolverine to be quiet and follow him. He snapped a couple of pictures of the bampfs and kittens.

"I'll send these to you," Remy attached the images to a text message and sent it off to Logan. Logan laughed.

"Ya, thats actually cute," Logan untangled the bampfs from kittens, waking them up but managed to leave the kittens asleep.

"Time ta go", he told the bampfs, and they walked into the living room. He put the collars and leashes on them.

"Bampf?"

"Ya, the school" Logan told them. Just as they were about to teleport, Remy stopped them.

"Wait, don't do that in here, go out in the hallway, I don't want to smell brimstone in here."

Logan laughed and the bampfs did their thing, leaving behind the brimstone smell that always accompanied teleportation. Remy rolled his eyes and began cleaning up the mess in the living room. He went to his room and climbed into bed. He was careful so that he would not disturb his kittens. He was glad about his acrobatic abilities, it sometimes took a contortionist to squeeze into bed and not wake his kittens. He loved his kittens, gave them each a gentle pat and then settled in himself for some much needed sleep.

Author's notes:

Wolverine's contemplation of the JGS is in WATXM #31, training bampfs with whiskey and leashing them to teleport WATXM #32, Gambit is given kittens by Mystique who saved them from Sabertooth AXM #62. AXM #48, Gambit and Cecilia are at his place for their Friday night date, and Wolverine shows up at the door. Bampfs re-introduced to the MU, WATXM #1, their species not identified in WATXM #6, and #7. Gambit has read and watched the Harry Potter book/film series, this is referenced in Gambit #14.


End file.
